Heaven

... here on earth.

mothering is a battlefield

The big kids were all doing math, Benjamin was napping, so I took three of my rowdy, little boys outside to blow bubbles, including the 2.75 year old. To some, three rowdy, little boys would be a battle. To me, it was like swimming in a lake of still waters. 

We tried to blow bubbles in the baby's face. "No, don't blow bubbles in the baby's face. The soap could burn his eyes!" ... "It's not soap Mom, it's bubbles!" (silly momma)

We got the hang of blowing gently, which created a thousand bubbles at once

 

We kept losing our bubble stick in the bubble bottle.

We puffed our cheeks big.

Then I decided we should put the bubbles up. They were half Benjamin's bubbles after all, and we should save some for him.

The 2.75 year old decided this was not such a good idea. And we battled over the blue bubble bottle. 

And the 2.75 year old won. 

And Benjamin's bubbles got dumped out on the driveway. 

And I stood there defeated. 

And realized that even with only 1/3 of my children ... if that 1/3 includes the 2.75 year old ... there is no such thing as still waters. Only a battlefield.

These wise (accessible) words for moms are on the way. My new battle plan.

"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious." - Vince Lombardi    

in 10 days

In 10 days, I will add another photo to this collection. A family of 10 ... in 10 days.

In 10 days, I will wake up (if I sleep at all) with one thought on my mind, "Please, please God be with me today."

In 10 days, I will be cleaning an already clean house in the wee hours of the morning. I will probably be starting a load of laundry while the sun is rising. I will be reminding everyone that, "There is this to eat. And that to eat. And extra milk in the storage fridge."

In 10 days, I will forget all about the terrible morning sickness (if Baby weighs just 6 pounds, I will weigh less than I did the day I got pregnant with him). I will have permanent pregnancy battle scars, motherhood in the trenches with beautiful spider veins. I will no longer have a love affair with Tums.

In 10 days, I will leave my home, and it's making, in the hands of my two daughters. They will care for it, and their brothers, in much the same way I would...because Nana will not load the dishwasher, or do the laundry, or know the flow of our routine like they do.

In 10 days, I will kiss my seven oldest children good bye for a few days. And I will cry. And I will have to make myself walk out the door.

In 10 days, I will be reminded how steady, caring, and responsible my husband is. As he goes back and forth from hospital to home, looking after me, a new baby, and making sure our children and home are in order.

In 10 days, I will give birth to our eighth child, our eighth blessing from Heaven above...our sixth boy in a row. Zacharias Eugene Bailey.

In 10 days.

monday.

Mondays are hard for me. Always. Every Monday. I don't know what it is, but it never changes. This Monday I woke up in a fine mood. Well rested. Yes, you just read that. I slept through the night. I mean, ALL my children slept through the night. Which means so did I. I was determined to not rush, not watch the clock, not hurry the morning. And things went pretty well, flowing along very smoothly. We did chores. We did school.

TJ finished his second book in the Pathway Readers series, and will start the third book Wednesday. It was one of those I did it! moments. But he grumbled his way through Copywork. Which is a lovely Christmas poem by Henry W. Longfellow. I think it's that it repeats the last line of the stanza so much. ...I thought it would be a nice break from his Copybook, now I'm not so sure. He's also doing What Child Is This? and Isaiah 9:2-7 this month. Maybe. Connor and the girls all kind of sailed through their school work this morning. I wasn't even really needed. Good for a Monday.

We had lunch, then I read the first few chapters of The Bird's Christmas Carol. Then is when the day started to turn into a real Monday. Babies not getting naps out, math was blah, then, since The Flood was still going on...my Rowdy Boys were stuck inside. No good. I can't wait to give them their new boots for Christmas. I'm going to send them out in all kinds of weather.

As it was, they played 'Restaurant' while I started dinner. The Happy Henry Restaurant. Where everybody gets a free hat on Monday (see Ben is donning the free hat/Christmas Stocking). BUT...who will be the Chef? Who will be the Waiter? Does steak cost $30 or $15? Was it a 5 Star Restaurant with a Walkie-Talkie Drive Thru Window? (and YES! these were all real arguments I overheard from the kitchen).

Once I managed to tune out the restaurant drama...I got into a fight with the can opener. The brand new can opener. The $10 can opener. Grrr! Does anyone else have can opener issues? Or is it just our family? Well, I informed Brian there would be no more dinner, unless we got an old-fashioned plug in the wall, stand up on the counter, zoomer-can opener like my Grandma Faye had. He informed me we would just stop buying canned goods. I finally got the green beans open, added them to what was supposed to be Vegetable Soup, but was more like Kinda Vegetable Stew. Judah got about half way up into his chair, glared into his bowl, then scowled at me. Really.

After Dinner, Brian went over Math with the kids. Mostly Kylie. Algebra really gets her some days. It really got her this Monday. She doesn't like Monday either. Her excuse for anything that goes wrong on Monday is, "It's Monday." Hmmm...maybe I should express my dislike for Mondays a little less.

The boys, who had been cooped up all day, cleared the family room floor, and had Hot Wheel races. A lot of them. Little metal cars were zooming everywhere. And my furniture kept being moved in order to find the little metal cars that were zooming everywhere. While they raced, I snapped a few pictures of my Christmas Mantle. And still, after two years with this camera, I cannot take a good picture indoors. Especially at night. But at least my mom can see what my mantle looks like this month. (that's my Elf Church on the far Left. do you like it?)

So now I am tired. And the house is cold. All that rain brought the cold again. I don't mind cold, but I do mind all that rain. I wish it had all been Snow. That would have made my Monday better. The title of this post could have been Snowy Monday. Not just Monday. The house is also quiet. Which makes me wonder...what was I so worked up about? It was just a day. And now it's done.

continuing to pour

It has been one of those mornings. One where I find myself living out the verse of this place,

"...At the beginning of the watches; pour out your heart like
water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of
your young children..." - Lamentations 2:19

 

I speak here often of how my life is beautiful. Of how my husband and children are tremendous blessings. Of how we strive to be deliberate. Consistent. In the moment. And it is all real, it's truly who we are. But this morning has been a reminder, to my slightly too comfortable soul, that living fully, consistently, and deliberately is not easy.

I had nothing left to do, but lift my hands toward Him. With lifted hands, and an overwhelmed heart, a heart full of the tasks He had laid before me, I poured.

When it takes the nine year old over an hour of precious time to do a simple copywork assignment. When the toddler rips through the pages of yet another overdue library book. When there are tiresome and tedious disciplinary issues that need constant, immediate attention. When children seem weary (didn't we just wake up?).

I may feel hopeless. But I'm not hopeless. Praise God.

When the chaos of the morning was finally fading, when the book work at the kitchen table was finished, once hungry tummies were full of peanutbutter and jelly, and we were dropping the oldest off at a sweet friend's house to help out... I smiled, for probably the first time in hours, at my daughter and said, "Enjoy your opportunity to serve." She smiled back, knowing everything was okay, and answered, "I will."

I'm grateful to know that I don't have to walk through these hectic mornings alone. I'm grateful that I can repent and be forgiven of negative feelings, harsh talk, and terrible mothering.

I'm so grateful that all I have to do is lift my hands, and He sees, and takes them.

how a mom takes a nice, hot bath

In the following few paragraphs, I'm going to give you (A Mom) instructions on how to take a nice, hot bath:

. The first step is to have dinner prepared & cleaned up early. (it helps if your hubby brings home pizza after work...YES! Brian worked today. YES! We know it's Sunday. It's the Army that tends to forget.) I did not plan this step, it just happened. YAY! for early dinners.

. Step #2, have dessert enjoyed & cleaned up early. (NO! we do not have dessert every night, but Korinne made a special treat for everyone. She actually served it, and cleaned it up...which helped with my 'early' theme.)

. Next, OK your plans to take a nice, hot bath with hubby. YES! He will most likely say, "GO! Enjoy your bath." But you want to be sure he knows that he's looking after the kids for a while. Otherwise, he will think you've certainly got it handled...even if you are NOWHERE! in sight.

The fourth step is to lock the door to the bathroom. This is tricky for me. The door leading to our master bath locks from the outside. YES! You can unlock it from the inside as well, but it allows Little Ones to be able to unlock it from the outside too! BUT! It does give hubby an extra ten seconds to catch the Little One who is trying to enter the bathroom where Mommy is trying to take her nice, hot bath. And he will stop the culprit before they can emerge victorious. Hopefully.

. Step #5 is to turn the exhaust fan ON! NO! You are not taking a steaming shower. You are taking a nice, hot bath. BUT! The exhaust fan will drowned out any small-ish noise that may alarm you (A Mom) and cause you to cut your nice, hot bath short.

. The next step is to clean the bathtub of tubby toys and dirt. YES! Every mom of Littles has tubby toys. No big deal. NO! Not every mom has to clean dirt out of her bathtub to take a bath. And I really can't believe I'm telling the world that I do! BUT! It's true. I have FIVE Rowdy Boys, and they get dirty. Like, actually DIRTY everyday. Like, there's dirt in the bathtub each night after they've had their bath. (I will NEVER understand how a mom of boys could ever not have to give them a bath every. single. day. *And, in the hot, summer months...I have to give my boys TWO. One when we come in for lunch and naps, and one we come in for dinner and our night time routine.)

. The seventh step is to fill the tub up with hot water and a little bath oil. YES! The water should be almost too hot. BUT! You take a 5 minute, lukewarm shower most other days of your life, so this one too-hot shower will not ruin your skin. And YES! The leftover Skin So Soft that you had on to combat the attack of the Arkansas Mosquitoes counts as a little bath oil (not that that's what I did, ahem.).

. Step #8 is to put a hot washrag over your face and soak. Continue with this until you hear the sound of little, running feet OVER the exhaust fan (Step #5), then the sound of one of your toddlers wailing in distress (which will take about 3 minutes).

. The next step is to stop soaking and bathe already. If you planned on shaving, go ahead, BUT! only from the knees down. That way, if you wear capri pants or a skirt tomorrow, no one will know the better. And you can explain to poor hubby, that you had full intentions of REALLY shaving your legs...until you heard the wailing toddler. He will then understand.

. The tenth step is to get out of your nice, hot bath and moisturize. UNLESS! A Little Person has broken past the locked door leading to the bathroom (Step #4), and is standing there hollering, "CAN I COME IN?!" Then you will have to forget the body lotion (until you see your knees in the morning).

. Step #11 is to put on clean jammies and smile. Because you are clean. Which you (A Mom) cannot say all the time.

:: Happy Nice, Hot Bathing! ::

what morning sickness taught me (and i almost missed)

The morning sickness with this pregnancy caught me completely off guard. I had never experienced it to such a degree before with my previous seven pregnancies. A little in the evenings with Korinne, a little more all-day with Wesley. But I was still able to function and carry on with our daily lives just the same as always.

Not so with this pregnancy. I was down for the count for many, many days. And it was awful, terrible, I thought I was dying...at times I really did want to die. Then I felt guilty for wanting to die. I felt guilty for not accepting this eighth blessing from God with anything but absolute joy. And I felt guilty for not being able to care for my home and family the way I should.

Brian would look me in the eyes, and assure me with things like, "Stop it. We will pull through. Let me help. Let the girls help. It can't last more than nine months." And I would sputter things back like, "I don't want you to have to help. I don't want the girls to have to help. And I will never make it nine months...I was thinking three months would kill me."

It took a good few weeks, but God started working on my heart. The Holy Spirit showed me that my biggest 'problem' with this morning sickness was me. I was really ill, but I was very sick with pride too. Which was keeping me from taking care of myself and my tiny baby, from taking it easy, and from letting this pregnancy sickness soon pass.

I am Super Woman. I have a happy husband, happy children. I keep a clean and tidy home. I do every single load of laundry there is. Every. Single. Day. I put three meals, and two snacks on the table each day. I homeschool four children, all while keeping three toddlers busy. I am Super Woman. There is no possible way that Brian or the girls could do what I do.

That is not true. It's actually one of the biggest lies I have ever believed.

My husband is a wonderful man. Not only does he completely support me in my role as homemaker, but he can step in and fill my shoes at a moment's notice. And he does it well. My daughters are wonderful young women. They have been trained for years now in the art of homemaking. I have taught them how to clean, and cook, and care for their siblings...as much as I have taught them academics. They are pretty darn good at keeping house for fourteen and eleven.

I was wasting so much energy worrying that our home would not be taken care of to my standards, that I almost missed the blessing of my family, and that would have been something entirely too good to miss. So I let go. I stopped believing my made-up super woman lie, and accepted the help that my precious family was offering.

I am a little past that 13 Week mark in my pregnancy now. Hello second trimester! I've not had to take but ten of my anti-nausea pills, and it's been almost a week since I took my last one. My energy is returning. Life is good, as it always was...I was just too blinded by my 'trouble' to notice. It was a true test of my faith, that I suppose I did actually fail in a way. But I'm hoping that the fact that I WE pulled through, relying on God and listening to the Holy Spirit, brought my grade up just a little.

It is so true that God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle (with Him), but he also never promises that it will be easy. I just pray that the next time I'm faced with trials, that I can say from the very beginning, that I will praise Him in the storm...not just once it's passed.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." - Isaiah 43:2

a tale of two cards

while dusting and tidying up our bedroom the other day, the two contrasting cards sitting on my dresser caught my attention.

one card reads:

Our love isn't just about the special celebrations in our lives - it's also about the simple pleasure of sharing each day with you...It's talking about anything and everything, laughing together, and feeling our worries melt away in the warmth of each other's arms...It's about knowing each other so well, making each other happy, and being so good together.

Happy Anniversary with Love

(and then there is a very beautiful and personal handwritten inscription from my husband. he always gives me cards that ring so true to our relationship. i love him.)

the other card reads:

Hope everYoNe pees WHeRe THeY'Re SuPPoSed To TODAY.

HAPPY MOTHeR'S dAY

(with SE7EN happy little signatures underneath. another true sentiment of my life.)

***

I live a blessed and well gifted life. My heart overflows.

when your husband works long hours

Usually, Brian's day is not long. He leaves the house at 7:15-ish, comes home for lunch for an hour, and then heads back to his office until around 5:00. Except for on Thursdays...he gets to come home a few hours early. I usually forget that it's Thursday, and am pleasantly surprised when he walks in the door. So really, no long hours for us.


He does, however work atleast one weekend a month. We will usually do school on the Saturdays that he works. We school year round, and take a lot of breaks...so by the time his Saturday rolls around, we could use a few extra hours to complete some assignments. On the Sundays that he works, we don't go to church. I realize that one day when he is deployed again, I will have to learn to get myself and SE7EN children ready for church, but for now...we just watch Adrian Rodgers on Sunday evenings once Brian gets home.


When Brian is actually out of town, I try to keep things as normal as possible.


I repeat, keep things as normal as possible.


When we first moved down here, and Brian would be away at a training conference or the range, I would plan to spend the days (and nights) deep cleaning the house, or organizing closets, etc. I soon learned, that would make me super tired, and I would panic when it was the last day, feeling like it was probably not good to have the contents of everyones closets all over the floor upon his return. Stress. Unnecessary stress. Don't do it.


...I would also let the kids stay up late. Super late. And then we would all be super grumpy the next morning. All day. So now, bedtime is bedtime. I do, however, allow my girls who are 14 and 11 to stay up a little late. We watch a girly movie, and then they 'camp out' on the hide-a-bed sofa. Because it would be scary for me to sleep downstairs all alone, with just Baby Judah for protection. I don't stay on the computer all night, I don't read all night, and I don't cry myself to sleep (Scripture Lullabies on the iPod helps tremendously with this, especially song 6).


...I would also whine and complain to Brian on the phone. "boo hoo army crying" I try very hard not to do that anymore. He doesn't like to be away, I don't like him to be away, the kids don't like him to be away...but he's a Soldier, and sometimes soldiers have to be away. And it does no one any good to whine and cry and complain about it. Instead, I try to be encouraging. Share the good things that happened throughout the day, the cute things the kids did or said.


...I continue to ease the burden on myself by eating simply while Brian is gone. Tuna Casserole always. Brian is NOT a fan, so it's the perfect time for me (I was raised on Tuna Casserole) to make and eat one of my favorites. Pizza, delivered. And popcorn chicken or fish sticks for dinner, not lunch, is the norm. Breakfast and lunch tend to stay the same. As do our meal times.


...We continue to do school. Because it's our routine. And routine keeps everybody sane(like normal bedtimes and meal times). Sane = NO yelling! Yelling is no good. Especially when you're playing 'single parent' for a few days.


...We don't go anywhere. Usually. Home is safe and easy. If Brian will be gone for more than a few days, I've tried to invite some friends (for myself and the kids) over about mid-way through. No Library trips. No appointments. No grocery store runs.


...Speaking of groceries...we make sure we have plenty to get through until Brian's return.


...We make sure to talk on the phone every day. And text often throughout the day. And he will almost always find the time to call when the kids are going off to bed.

...

Before we know it. The days (sometimes weeks) have gone by, and it's time for Brian's return. And Welcome Home Day is the best day.


There are always signs. All over the house. My kids love to make signs. And Brian has hundreds that say, "Welcome Home Daddy!"


There is a favorite dinner prepared on Welcome Home Day. The house is super cleaned on Welcome Home Day. Our bed clothes are washed on Welcome Home Day. The yard is picked up and the entry way is made 'welcoming' on Welcome Home Day.


Then he pulls in the driveway, or walks through the door, and there are squeals and hugs and endless chatting. And the tightness in my chest melts away, and the heaviness on my shoulders is lifted. I actually feel my heart swelling with love for my Soldier-Husband who just spent days or weeks away from his family, his home, his biggest responsibilities. And I feel proud. Proud that the kids and I did it. Proud that Brian serves. Proud that we can continue to be the family that we are, even through the hard times.


So breathe. Just keep swimming. Take care of your home, take care of your children...it will all be over soon.


And find comfort in the old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder," because it's true. So true.

how i'm not losing the baby weight

Lately, it seems like all I've been doing is writing posts about what I'm NOT doing...


I'm NOT putting in a brand-new, built-in swimming pool.
I'm NOT a super military spouse.

I did NOT get all my great Easter plans accomplished.

I'm NOT following the rules of blogging.

I'm NOT meal planning and frugally cooking from scratch like I should with a large-ish family.



So...

...in keeping with the 'NOT' theme...I'm NOT currently losing my baby weight. And yes, for the record, I know that Judah is not actually a baby. He's a toddler. A walking, talking, fit-throwing, buzz-headed toddler.

I'm going to be totally honest here, because it always seems like when I talk all-things-body-image, some one will undoubtedly tell me how pretty I am, that I'm not fat. So, I'm gonna just lay the true to size me out:


I'm pretty close to 5 feet, 6 and 1/2 inches tall. I'm 33 years old. I've given birth to 7 children, starting at age 19. And I weigh 200 pounds. Yep, I do. And I think that's almost 8 pounds 8 ounces less than what I weighed the morning I was admitted to the hospital to have Judah (who, coincidentally weighed, you guessed it, 8 pounds 8 ounces).


So...what's my problem? I don't know. Could it be I don't exercise? Yes. Could it be I eat a lot? Yes. But I don't sit around (hello...7 kids). And I don't eat everything, all day, and it's fairly balanced.

And, I didn't have this problem with my first 3 children, but things have changed with the last 4:

I gained approximately 40 pounds with each of the first 3. With Kylie, the weight just went away. How? I don't know. Could it have been the fact that I worked, went to school, mothered, didn't eat, and smoked instead of snacking? Yes. With Korinne, the weight almost just went away. I remember (loosely) following the Slim-Fast plan for a few weeks. With Connor, I never got back down below 165-ish. Then with TJ, I gained the normal 40 pounds, which put me slightly over the 200 mark for the first time. And I got back down to about 180-ish. And then with Wesley, I was so, so, so, sick...and lost about 20 pounds the first trimester with him. Gained my normal 40, lost 20. With Benjamin, gained 20...didn't lose a pound after. And the same thing with Judah. Gained 20, haven't lost a pound.

Here is what I have done: nursed for 19 months, while eating much like when I'm pregnant. And I'm hungry and thirsty...all.the.time! Switched to Diet Coke about 2 months ago, and only drink 3-5 a week. Quit putting sugar in my coffee about the same time. And increased my fruit intake, and some days my water intake. And I exercised for 25 minutes a day, for about 2 weeks, a month ago. And lost 4 pounds. That's it!

And gained 2 back!

So, my great Lose The Baby Weight advice is to exercise every day. And eat healthy everyday (and less). And you'll lose a few pounds a week.

May I take my own advice! (I'll keep ya posted)

quiet time now

Remember this post? Well, I do. Because I'm still living it. I still have not figured out a way to make the hours between 1 PM and 4 PM work.

It seems like I'm always hitting my wall, just about the time I need to walk in the kitchen and start dinner (and I don't enjoy cooking). So, needless to say, I have to...I must, find a way to make our afternoons less chaotic.

Here's what Quiet Time looks like for us right now:

12:30-ish...I'm sitting on the floor, in the hallway, between all the kids' bedrooms, Reading Aloud. I love doing this. The kids love it. This is working. (it also gives Judah and Benjamin time to fall asleep)

1:00-ish...Quiet Time starts. Big Kids (the girls and Connor) are reading for approximately 90 minutes. This is Book Basket time (Science, History Independent Reading) and the last little while is for 'fun' reading.

. what does TJ do during this time? Well, he'll look through a book or two for about 10 minutes, and then he'll completely konk out. Every day. For about an hour. And he's 6.

. what does Wesley do during this time? It depends. Sometimes he peels the paint off his wall. Sometimes he changes his clothes a few times. Sometimes he sings. Sometimes he ______. And yes, I'm still fighting this 3 yr olds-must-nap thing. Because I think they must...but clearly, Wesley does not agree. He's back to being 'quiet' in our bed.

2:30-ish...Snack Time. Cereal. Tea Time has officially been reserved for Fridays. This time is still quiet, because evidently everyone is famished from Quiet Time. It's kind of odd how quiet this cereal-eating time really is.

3:00-ish...we should do Science. Or Nature Study. Or Art. Or Music. What do we do? I don't know. I usually spin around in circles from 3:00-ish until 4:00-ish.

So...

Tell me why. Why do our afternoons get waaay off track every.single.day?

Do large families just not do 'Nap Time?' How in the world do the little ones still get a nap...if everyone else is just going about their business...opening and closing doors? going up and down stairs? turning on faucets?

I've been thinking of really trying to get all our 'school' finished in the mornings. I think it may be feasible. That would push Nap Time back atleast an hour, and the Littles are up at 6:30 AM...I'm not sure they could actually stay up until 2:00 PM.

But it would completely free up the afternoon. For playing, and free time, and no more spinning. Just fun.

Or am I dreaming?

thirty three

. a birthday card in the mail, a day early, from my grandparents "we hope your day is Special." they write

 

. my 3 year old wanting so desperately to give me my 'bob the builder birthday pictures' the night before, but being as patient as a 3 year old can be, and waiting one more day

 

. my childhood best friend letting me know that she remembers tomorrow is my birthday

. hearing the van start up at 6:45 AM, as my husband heads to the bakery for donuts...a double gift. I don't have to make breakfast, chocolate in the morning

. my daughters making and hanging 'happy birthday mom' streamers

. greeted outside my bedroom by SE7EN (count them...one, two, three, four, five, six, se7en) blessings (gifts) from God singing 'happy birthday dear momma' at 6:48 AM

 

. the smile on Wesley's face as he (finally) gives me my 'bob the builder birthday pictures'

 

. my mom and dad and their kitty, louie, singing 'happy birthday to you' over the phone...and then saying, "we'll see you tomorrow!"

 

. a text from my brother, "happy birthday sis!"

. 'happy birthday mom' on my kindergartner's handwriting page

. a 'happy birthday, love you' email from my grandma

. a text from my husband, "won't be home for lunch, have errands to run before b-day bash tonight."

. a voicemail from a sweet lady at our old church. more singing, "happy birthday, God bless you..."

 

. ABC magnetic letters, placed just for me

 

. my daughters in the kitchen, baking for me

 

. a birthday dinner (italian food!), made by my husband

 

. Kylie's watercolor birthday card

 

. two blue, sparkly, burning '3' candles, 33!, and another round of singing, 'happy birthday'...hearing excited giggles, seeing happy smiles, Brian laughing and recording

. NOT blowing out my candles, thank you Benjamin!

 

. packages wrapped in leftover Christmas paper (crocheted dishrags by Korinne, handmade jewelry by Connor and TJ, chocolate kisses...1 for each day of my 34th year, my that's a lot of chocolate kisses, new watch, new bible...NKJV, genuine leather, ultra thin, large print, reference, so perfect!)

 

. sharing a piece of chocolate, chocolate cake with Judah

. having my 8 year old son 'tie' my new necklace on me, beautiful!

. one last voicemail, my sister and her three sons, singing a muffled and excited 'happy birthday (this one to) Aunt Kathi, happy birthday to you'

. choosing one of our hymns, 'it is well,' my favorite

. too many facebook messages to count, thank you all!

 

:: Hello Thirty-Three, welcome to my life, I do believe we'll get along fine! ::

thoughts on mother culture

To read about our Mom's Night Out, you can visit my real-life girlfriend, Mrs. C.

 

A link to learn what Mother Culture is ... and in case you didn't know, Karen Andreola blogs!

"Charlotte believed that this countenance of contentment, of serenity, can come about even during stressful times when a mother learns to occasionally do for herself what she does for her children - go out to play. Charlotte tells us we would have happier households if we mothers "would only have courage to let everything go when life becomes too tense, and just take a day, or a half a day, out in the fields, or with a favorite book, or in a picture gallery. . ." For a mother to allow herself a bit of leisure to rest and refresh herself by exploring her own interests, to find a little time for herself, especially when so many others depend on her, is a what Karen calls, Mother Culture ®.

 

When a busy homeschooling mother takes part in Mother Culture she safeguards her enthusiasm, so she will be better able to cope with her responsibilities. To partake in Mother Culture is to feed herself with the Word of God, with ideas from books, nature, art, music, etc., thus taking care to keep growing spiritually and mentally. If there such is a thing as the joy of childhood, there is also such a thing as the joy of motherhood, and Karen admonishes mothers to recognize and live within such a blessing."

...and a few more Mother Culture-ish ideas!

today i:

. cleaned up after a Victory Party

. made oatmeal for breakfast (and the kids happily ate it)

. washed our bed sheets (fresh bed sheets are heavenly)

. heated up leftover Victory Party food for lunch (OK, so we had snacks for lunch)

. cleaned out the pantry

. went through my cleaning rags, finally throwing a few in the trash (I LOVE to throw things away, I LOVE it!)

. texted Brian to bring bags of salad home for dinner...added shredded cheese and croutons and everyone's dressing of choice...complete with ice water (and the entire family happily ate it)

. sang hymns with my husband and children out of our new hymnals

. and managed to DELETE my 'Learning' page

... and soon, I'm going to take a hot-ish, warm-ish shower, put on my new flannel nightgown and old cotton socks, get in our bed (which has freshly washed, heavenly sheets on it), and doze off as Brian flips through the channels. And, as soon as he turns the TV off, Judah will wake up, and I will nurse him back to sleep...and then...then I will go to sleep!

:: Good Night! ::

i'm tired

Yes, A Month of Thanksgiving has turned into A Week of Thanksgiving. And, I am OK with that. Thank you, Sheri, for the suggestion. I really had intentions of trying to play 'catch up,' but I'm just too tired for that.

I thought I'd just put some thoughts down this evening.

Baby Judah is finally feeling better. So much so, that at midnight last night, he was ready to get down and play with his blocks. I did not let him, which made him quite angry. Which made me realize how quickly he is turning the corner from infant to toddler.

I already have 2 toddlers.

Have I mentioned I'm tired?

The election is also wearing me out. I did just listen to the new FL Senator speak, and I say he should run for President in 2012. I also told Brian he should run in 2024. But he just laughed. (This will be the extent of political talk on this blog)

I made Lazy Southern Chicken tonight, and thought of Sara...not because she is lazy, but because she gave me the recipe. Brian mistakenly bought Garden Herb Ritzseszes (clueless on how to make Ritz plural) crackers for the topping, but it ended up tasting really yummy! Yay for cooking mistakes!...if you call Lazy Southern Chicken cooking...which, I do (but you probably do not)!

This morning we read about Jesus as a boy. The kids wondered aloud what Jesus meant by, "I was doing my Father's business..." And I realized how much my children understand about the bible, and it makes my heart happy. That part of my day did not make me feel tired. It made me feel good.

We are also a little over half way through The Witch of Blackbird Pond, and I just have to say that I love Elizabeth George Speare. We also read a neat little book called North American Indians, and I learned a lot from it. The pictures were beautiful.

After Quiet Time, I went over all 4 schooling children's math videos, then I hung out at the table with them, while they each completed 2 pages. While Wesley drew capital Es over and over, insisting he was doing Math. OK. He was still. So OK.

Which brings me back to Judah (not sure how). Who I am now nursing for the second time tonight. And it's only 10:22PM.

So, I'm going to call this a post. I will probably delete it tomorrow. But here it is tonight!

Sleep well Blogland. I know I will.

Love,
Kathi

parenting road block ahead

I LOVE my Boys. I LOVE them.

But, it's official. I've hit a Parenting Road Block.

I have a 2 year old telling me, "NO!" Over everything. Even things he means to say, "YES!" to, he's telling me, "NO!" It's exhausting. And I argue, and beg, and plead for him to obey.

I have a 3 year old that is easily angered. And he hollers. A lot. And I get angry right back. And holler too.

I have a 5 year old that is stubborn. Strong willed. Whatever you want to call it. He doesn't back down. I do.

As I struggle to figure this out, the only thing I can come up with, is that it has to be me.

I give in to 2 year old's "NO!", because it's easy, and it's immediate relief (for me). I deal with 3 year old's anger and hollering by firing right back. 5 year old's strong will wins, and I lose every time. These Rowdy Boys of mine have it made.

But their Momma is tired. And their home life is suffering. There are six other people living under this roof, and I don't think we want the Preschoolers in charge.

I'm thinking it's time to discipline God's way.

...and maybe finish that book that I've been working on for almost a year now.

"Discipline your son in his early years while there is hope. If you don't, you will ruin his life." - Proverbs 19:18 TLB
 

I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on discipline and parenting boys. How do you keep the peace in your home?

my prayer for today

As Summer ends, and Autumn begins, we are busy.

Busy with Ballet, and Cub Scouts, and Nutcracker rehearsal, and rigorous school work, and more responsibility, out of town guests, and training...and the list goes on.

Add to the list of busyness: finding a Church Home...

The stress of it all, is sitting heavily on my shoulders. I'm fatigued and moody and boring.

Today, I am trying to focus on what is important.

God is important.
So prayer is important, and time spent reading the Bible is important...Family Worship is important.

My Husband is important.
So communicating (not just talking), and understanding (because we are so different), and helping him is important (because we're in this together).

The Children are important.
So Mothering: eye contact, listening, touching are important. Their growing Faith is important, their Hearts are important, their Education is important. Having fun (making Memories) is important.

Home is important.
So keeping Home is important. Tidiness is important, so is being cozy and comfortable. Clean clothes are important (but not having ALL the laundry done each day). Good Food is important (but a Tuna Casserole never hurt anyone, ). Sweep the floor. Light a candle. Smile.

I pray that God gives me the energy to follow this Order of Things, and I will feel rested, and happy, and full of life.

Amen.

how to be a magic momma

. let them play outside in the rain

. melt Velveeta in the microwave and add salsa and serve it with warm-from-the-oven tortilla chips and give it to them for morning snack... "Where'd ya get this recipe Momma?" ... "Oh, the places I had to go to get this one Darlings" ...

. lay on the floor with them while they're playing with their choo choo trains, or littlest pet shops, or cars

. bake them brownies

. look at them when they talk to you (I guess I don't do this, because it's really surprising them...they seem confused by my full attention)

. hand out "juicy gum" aka Juicy Fruit Gum upon their request

. get completely overwhelmed with the amount of paper drawings they create, spend an hour going through them and separating them into piles: Dinosaurs - Sharks - Military - Animals - Baseball - Fat Stick People, staple them together, and present them as Books while declaring that a Book is not finished until every square inch of it is drawn on (and Heaven knows we don't start a new Book without finishing one first)...I had no idea the sheer JOY this would bring...Magic Momma Indeed...

. say YES to them

. turn off the computer

pouring

“Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children” - Lamentations 2:19



As a Mother needing all the help I can get, I have begun to take this verse very literally. And it has become an important part of my relationship with God. A time to reflect on what exactly the day held for me and the children, and what I think could have been different, better.

We have a Bedtime Routine. Brian and I tuck the kids in, say that well-known Bedtime Prayer (Now I lay me…), and give good-night kisses all around.

But I always return to their rooms before I lay down to go to sleep. I walk quietly to each child’s bed, straighten rumpled, twisted covers, watch for that gentle up and down of their tummies as they breathe, lay my hand on warm, sweaty foreheads and Pray. I make each Prayer specific to the child, really trying to remember discussions, playtimes, and boo boos. I may ask for something as simple as healing from seasonal allergies, or I might ask for guidance on how to deal with a certain behavior, or how to get over a learning difficulty. I’ve asked God, more than a time or two, “Please give me more time, one more day to be with them, to be their Mother.” I’ve also had nights where my prayers have not been easy prayers. They’ve been prayers asking forgiveness for something shameful I did. Something the child and I battled over, and I took it too far.

Whatever the prayer may be, late at night when our home is quiet and asleep, has become a much needed and looked forward to time for me. A time when I beg for His blessing on my children, who are not really mine at all, but His. How could I care for them well enough without seeking Him, without pouring out my broken heart like water, lifting up my full hands to Him for the precious lives of my seven beautiful children He has entrusted me with, through my whispered Bedtime Prayers?

perseverance in motherhood

As I rocked a fussing Judah, and waited on Brian to get home so I could go to my appointment, the tears were already forming, and all I could think of was how very tired I was. He walked in, took one look at me, and his shoulders dropped.

 

"They don't listen to me, it's like I'm not even here...what am I going to do," was all I could get out. I handed him Judah, as I relayed the morning to him. And then I left, leaving him to deal with it. Knowing he would.

 

As I got in our minivan, the enemy was rejoicing. After all, the tears were actually falling at this point, and I was actually speaking the words of defeat. Motherhood was getting the Best of Me. I felt I had nothing left to Give.

 

I couldn't correct another child, I couldn't grade another paper, I couldn't hand out another cup of juice, I couldn't change another diaper, I couldn't even manage a smile.

 

Why?

 

I love being a Mother. I believe with all my Heart, it's what God put me on this Earth to do. My self-made Spiritual Gift.

 

It's because if I were doing this right...they would all behave. They would do what they were told, when they were told, most times without even being told. If I were doing this right, I would not be correcting the same mis-spelled word for the 4th time, because, once I'd taught them the correct spelling, they would remember it forever and ever. If I were doing this right, not another child would ever need me to get them another drink, and they would magically be able to get one for themselves (without spilling). If I were doing this right, at this point, changing diapers would be a welcomed hobby. And smiling would really be my favorite. And I would NEVER yell.

 

If I were doing this right.

But that is a lie.

 

Mothering is hard work. The hardest kind of work. It never ends. And we do not always see our reward for a very long time.

Being tired and overwhelmed and feeling ill-equipped is part of Mothering. But accepting these feelings as OK, is almost as hard as the job itself. I refuse to feel defeated again. I'm praying to God for strength and wisdom and smiles. And He will answer my prayers. Even if it means a few more rough days. Because in His Wisdom, He knows that hard times produce perseverance.

And Mothering takes more perseverance than anyone can muster on their own.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5