when your husband works long hours

Usually, Brian's day is not long. He leaves the house at 7:15-ish, comes home for lunch for an hour, and then heads back to his office until around 5:00. Except for on Thursdays...he gets to come home a few hours early. I usually forget that it's Thursday, and am pleasantly surprised when he walks in the door. So really, no long hours for us.


He does, however work atleast one weekend a month. We will usually do school on the Saturdays that he works. We school year round, and take a lot of breaks...so by the time his Saturday rolls around, we could use a few extra hours to complete some assignments. On the Sundays that he works, we don't go to church. I realize that one day when he is deployed again, I will have to learn to get myself and SE7EN children ready for church, but for now...we just watch Adrian Rodgers on Sunday evenings once Brian gets home.


When Brian is actually out of town, I try to keep things as normal as possible.


I repeat, keep things as normal as possible.


When we first moved down here, and Brian would be away at a training conference or the range, I would plan to spend the days (and nights) deep cleaning the house, or organizing closets, etc. I soon learned, that would make me super tired, and I would panic when it was the last day, feeling like it was probably not good to have the contents of everyones closets all over the floor upon his return. Stress. Unnecessary stress. Don't do it.


...I would also let the kids stay up late. Super late. And then we would all be super grumpy the next morning. All day. So now, bedtime is bedtime. I do, however, allow my girls who are 14 and 11 to stay up a little late. We watch a girly movie, and then they 'camp out' on the hide-a-bed sofa. Because it would be scary for me to sleep downstairs all alone, with just Baby Judah for protection. I don't stay on the computer all night, I don't read all night, and I don't cry myself to sleep (Scripture Lullabies on the iPod helps tremendously with this, especially song 6).


...I would also whine and complain to Brian on the phone. "boo hoo army crying" I try very hard not to do that anymore. He doesn't like to be away, I don't like him to be away, the kids don't like him to be away...but he's a Soldier, and sometimes soldiers have to be away. And it does no one any good to whine and cry and complain about it. Instead, I try to be encouraging. Share the good things that happened throughout the day, the cute things the kids did or said.


...I continue to ease the burden on myself by eating simply while Brian is gone. Tuna Casserole always. Brian is NOT a fan, so it's the perfect time for me (I was raised on Tuna Casserole) to make and eat one of my favorites. Pizza, delivered. And popcorn chicken or fish sticks for dinner, not lunch, is the norm. Breakfast and lunch tend to stay the same. As do our meal times.


...We continue to do school. Because it's our routine. And routine keeps everybody sane(like normal bedtimes and meal times). Sane = NO yelling! Yelling is no good. Especially when you're playing 'single parent' for a few days.


...We don't go anywhere. Usually. Home is safe and easy. If Brian will be gone for more than a few days, I've tried to invite some friends (for myself and the kids) over about mid-way through. No Library trips. No appointments. No grocery store runs.


...Speaking of groceries...we make sure we have plenty to get through until Brian's return.


...We make sure to talk on the phone every day. And text often throughout the day. And he will almost always find the time to call when the kids are going off to bed.

...

Before we know it. The days (sometimes weeks) have gone by, and it's time for Brian's return. And Welcome Home Day is the best day.


There are always signs. All over the house. My kids love to make signs. And Brian has hundreds that say, "Welcome Home Daddy!"


There is a favorite dinner prepared on Welcome Home Day. The house is super cleaned on Welcome Home Day. Our bed clothes are washed on Welcome Home Day. The yard is picked up and the entry way is made 'welcoming' on Welcome Home Day.


Then he pulls in the driveway, or walks through the door, and there are squeals and hugs and endless chatting. And the tightness in my chest melts away, and the heaviness on my shoulders is lifted. I actually feel my heart swelling with love for my Soldier-Husband who just spent days or weeks away from his family, his home, his biggest responsibilities. And I feel proud. Proud that the kids and I did it. Proud that Brian serves. Proud that we can continue to be the family that we are, even through the hard times.


So breathe. Just keep swimming. Take care of your home, take care of your children...it will all be over soon.


And find comfort in the old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder," because it's true. So true.

another wesley-ism

"Momma! I need sauerkraut on my elbows!" ... which, when translated, means: "Momma! I need Solarcaine on my shoulders!"
:: Happy Playing in the Sunshine (but not first sunburns)! ::

~right now

my baby is making "vroom, vroom!" noises with his cars at the bottom of the stairs (a little too loudly)

my toddler is napping in his bed (without his blankie...with BBQ chip dust on his face)

my 4 yr old is listening to my 6 yr old read Biscuit to him

my 8 yr old is drawing baseball players

my youngest daughter just came in excited, thinking she hears the baby birds

my teenager is putting make up on, as she gets ready to lead her little class in their Spring Recital

my husband is talking politics with my father (yikes!)

my mother (who just had knee replacement surgery two weeks ago) is sound asleep in my daughters' room

...i just got on the computer to write a lovely Mother's Day post...but i think i'll go join my family instead.

:: Happy Mother's Day Weekend! ::
~Kathi

how i'm not losing the baby weight

Lately, it seems like all I've been doing is writing posts about what I'm NOT doing...


I'm NOT putting in a brand-new, built-in swimming pool.
I'm NOT a super military spouse.

I did NOT get all my great Easter plans accomplished.

I'm NOT following the rules of blogging.

I'm NOT meal planning and frugally cooking from scratch like I should with a large-ish family.



So...

...in keeping with the 'NOT' theme...I'm NOT currently losing my baby weight. And yes, for the record, I know that Judah is not actually a baby. He's a toddler. A walking, talking, fit-throwing, buzz-headed toddler.

I'm going to be totally honest here, because it always seems like when I talk all-things-body-image, some one will undoubtedly tell me how pretty I am, that I'm not fat. So, I'm gonna just lay the true to size me out:


I'm pretty close to 5 feet, 6 and 1/2 inches tall. I'm 33 years old. I've given birth to 7 children, starting at age 19. And I weigh 200 pounds. Yep, I do. And I think that's almost 8 pounds 8 ounces less than what I weighed the morning I was admitted to the hospital to have Judah (who, coincidentally weighed, you guessed it, 8 pounds 8 ounces).


So...what's my problem? I don't know. Could it be I don't exercise? Yes. Could it be I eat a lot? Yes. But I don't sit around (hello...7 kids). And I don't eat everything, all day, and it's fairly balanced.

And, I didn't have this problem with my first 3 children, but things have changed with the last 4:

I gained approximately 40 pounds with each of the first 3. With Kylie, the weight just went away. How? I don't know. Could it have been the fact that I worked, went to school, mothered, didn't eat, and smoked instead of snacking? Yes. With Korinne, the weight almost just went away. I remember (loosely) following the Slim-Fast plan for a few weeks. With Connor, I never got back down below 165-ish. Then with TJ, I gained the normal 40 pounds, which put me slightly over the 200 mark for the first time. And I got back down to about 180-ish. And then with Wesley, I was so, so, so, sick...and lost about 20 pounds the first trimester with him. Gained my normal 40, lost 20. With Benjamin, gained 20...didn't lose a pound after. And the same thing with Judah. Gained 20, haven't lost a pound.

Here is what I have done: nursed for 19 months, while eating much like when I'm pregnant. And I'm hungry and thirsty...all.the.time! Switched to Diet Coke about 2 months ago, and only drink 3-5 a week. Quit putting sugar in my coffee about the same time. And increased my fruit intake, and some days my water intake. And I exercised for 25 minutes a day, for about 2 weeks, a month ago. And lost 4 pounds. That's it!

And gained 2 back!

So, my great Lose The Baby Weight advice is to exercise every day. And eat healthy everyday (and less). And you'll lose a few pounds a week.

May I take my own advice! (I'll keep ya posted)

children's book monday: miss lina's ballerinas

Miss Lina has eight little ballerinas in her cozy white house in Messina. Christina, Edwina, Sabrina, Justina, Katrina, Bettina, Marina, and Nina. In four lines of two, they dance...doing math, while reading, into bed, at the park, at the zoo, and at the beach.

plie' . releve' . pirouette . jete' .

But when a new ballerina, Regina, is added to the group...the girls are unable to twirl in their well-loved four lines of two, and 'befuddlement' follows. When Miss Lina kindly shares with her ballerinas how nice it will be in three rows of three...order returns, and dance practice continues until it's perfect! (all the number regrouping makes it a perfect living math book)


Just look at those illustrations in perfectly beautiful pastel (pink!) colored pencil! I love the ones of the sweet granny piano player and her cute, little tabby cat (sure beats a CD player...ahhh, to go to dance class pre-technology)! And the story itself is simple, rhyming, and so much girly-twirly fun! P.S. The reviews are right, we immediately thought of Madeline!

We bought this book for our Big Girl Ballerinas, and we all love it, and we're sure your Little Ballerina will love it too!

***speaking of Ballet...it's Trump de la Lumiere week! Saturday night is THE big night! Pirates, and Spirits, and Smugglers, and swords, and bandannas (NO buns!), and black tights...our first NON-traditional ballet, oh my!***


:: Happy Reading and Twirling and Pirate-ing! ::